Pickleball & Partnership: Relationship Advice for Couples Navigating Communication, Conflict, and Connection
Welcome to Pickleball & Partnership, the weekly podcast where longtime married couple, Charlotte and Neil take you on their journey of love, laughter, and personal growth—both on and off the pickleball court. After 27+ years of marriage, they’ve found a fresh way to connect and challenge each other through this fast-growing sport, bringing a whole new level of teamwork to their relationship.
Each week, tune in to hear Charlotte and Neil share candid stories of their triumphs, frustrations, and everything in between. From hilarious mishaps on the court to humbling moments of self-discovery, these episodes offer a relatable, heartwarming, and sometimes downright funny look at how pickleball has helped them improve their communication, sharpen their teamwork, and grow a deeper appreciation for each other’s unique strengths.
Whether you're a pickleball enthusiast, in a long-term relationship, or just looking for light-hearted and inspiring stories about partnership, this podcast serves up real talk about love, life, and the game that’s brought them closer than ever.
Grab your paddle, hit subscribe, and join Charlotte and Neil each week for a fresh serve of insight, laughter, and life lessons.
Pickleball & Partnership: Relationship Advice for Couples Navigating Communication, Conflict, and Connection
When They Leave...Again: Finding Peace in the Empty Nest
In this heartfelt episode, Charlotte Jukes shares her personal experiences and emotions as her adult children leave home repeatedly. She discusses the grief, loneliness, and the cyclical nature of goodbyes, offering insights on how to navigate these emotions with self-compassion.
Charlotte invites listeners to embrace their feelings, lean into their emotions, and explore self-kindness during these transitions. This episode serves to connect with parents facing similar challenges, providing both comfort and practical tools for coping.
00:00 Introduction: The Emotional Rollercoaster of Goodbyes
01:40 A Recent Goodbye: My Daughter's Departure
03:13 Navigating the Waves of Emotions
04:02 The First Time They Left: Rediscovering Myself
04:26 The Cycle of Leaving and Returning
06:03 Coping Mechanisms: Distraction vs. Feeling
10:38 Embracing the Emotions: A New Approach
12:04 Self-Compassion and Reflection
16:21 Conclusion: Growing Through Goodbyes
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Pickleball & Partnership Email cejukes@gmail.com
Music: Purple Planet Music
Thanks to Purple Planet Music for Pickleball & Partnership Intro and Outro music Purple Planet Music is a collection of music written and performed by Chris Martyn and Geoff Harvey.
Have you ever thought you'd already done the hard goodbye only to find yourself doing it all over again? That was my reality yesterday. My adult child leaves home. Then they come back for a while and then they leave again, and every time it feels like another wave crashing over me, the house feels different. I feel different, and even though I thought I'd get used to it, the truth is I don't think we ever really do. Hello, friends, I'm Charlotte Jukes, and today I want to invite you into a really tender space, one that so many of us walk through, but we often don't talk about. Or if we do, it's on a very superficial level, and that is the rollercoaster of emotions when our children leave home again. This episode isn't about pretending to have it all figured out. It's about sharing honestly, what this journey feels like for me, and also how I'm navigating it differently this time with more self-compassion, more presence, and the tools that I've learned as a coach. So my hope is that in hearing my story, you'll feel less alone in yours. And maybe even pick up a few ideas that can support you in whatever goodbyes you are facing. So let me take you back to just yesterday. My middle child, my 26-year-old, I nearly said 25, but it was actually her birthday last week. My 26-year-old adventurer, crazy red head, packed up her suitcase yet again and flew off to Europe with her boyfriend, and in that moment I felt it all. I felt the lump in my throat, the ugh, heavy ache in my chest, the tears that I was trying to hold back. And when we got back from the airport, the house that instantly, ugh, I'm choking up now, instantly felt quieter, and I caught myself wanting to just get busy to distract myself. But this time I decided to pause. I decided to actually lean in instead of rushing past, pushing down those emotions that were threatening to bubble up and overflow. I decided to sit with the emotions, to really lean into them, to really feel them. And that's where I want to start with you today.
Charlotte Jukes:This the pickleball and partnership podcast, the place to talk. Talk about building better connections with your partner. Learning how to communicate with each other and how to inject fun. Into your relationship all through the game of pickleball. If that sounds like your cup of tea. Pull up a chair grab your paddle and join me. Your host, Charlotte Jukes. For pickleball and partnership.
Charlotte J:So today I'm talking about something that many of us as parents experience when our adult children leave home again, and that rollercoaster of emotions of saying goodbye only to welcome them back and then say goodbye again. So I want to walk us through, I want to walk me through and please come with me. What this feels like for me. How I've learned to sit with the grief, the loss, the emptiness instead of rushing past it and the tools that are helping me to navigate it. My hope is that this will serve you too. If you are in that season of letting go, whatever that is, you are letting go of. I've gone through this many times. I have three children. My two eldest daughters have left home many times. My son is still here, but it feels like every time he leaves the house or every time he goes to his girlfriends, or every time he. Goes on a trip with his friends. It feels as though he's leaving. And so all three of them have left home many times, and all three of them have returned the first time they all left, it was exciting for them. It was exciting for me. I felt like this was a new chapter in my life and I approached their leaving with excitement and eagerness to discover who I am without my children. It wasn't easy. It really wasn't easy the first time. There was so much. Uh, loss that I felt. There was so much emptiness that I felt, but there was also excitement about rediscovering who I was without them, without being mum, who was always there to pick up the pieces. And then there was this in-between time when they returned and the joy and the routine and the comfort that we all fell back into, which was absolutely amazing. But then when they leave again, that's when I experience that emotional hit again. And every time they go, I feel like it hits even harder. The house is just so empty. My body feels so heavy, and each time I notice myself wanting to distract instead of feel. I want to be busy. I want to find that new project. I need to have something to occupy my time and occupy my mind so that I don't allow myself to feel that incredible sense of loss, that incredible. Emptiness and heaviness. I'm doing it now. I'm thinking, oh my gosh. This time last week we were getting ready to all go and play golf together, and the fun that we had and the craziness of it all, and even two nights ago, we were all sitting there at the long dinner table and there were what, seven, eight of us around the table. And I sat there and I listened to, my son talking about. His interview that he had coming up in a couple of days for a new job since he's graduated. I was listening to my eldest daughter talk about what her week looked like and how she absolutely loved the salmon that had been cooked by my other daughter's boyfriend, who is a chef and my middle daughter talking about. Her kind of music and how she absolutely loves this particular style and wants to play it loudly for everyone and nobody else can really feel the jibe of that music. And I just took it all in. I just absorbed it and I was in the moment and enjoying. So much each one of them so different. And my husband trying to get a word in and nobody letting him speak and him really wanting to offer his fatherly advice and it was so. Touching and so connecting and there was such this sense of connection between all of us. It felt like I really was home. I mean, I was home and my family was there, and everyone, my closest people that I loved were all there and all having fun and enjoying the moment and now today, I feel like it's all gone. I feel like that carpet has been pulled from underneath my feet again, and I think this is normal. I'm telling myself this is normal. This is what we all feel. Every Goodbye. Reopens that place in us that loves so deeply, and thank goodness we do love so deeply. I'm really feeling grateful for the fact that I have these amazing human beings in my life, my husband, my children, my children's partners. I have so much in my heart that I share with these beautiful human beings, and so this is normal when that changes, when suddenly, I don't have to unpack the dishwasher quietly because they're still sleeping in the next room, or, I'm sitting there eating breakfast by myself wondering why the house. Feels so quiet. This is normal. This is, that normal cycle of anticipation and grief and adjustment and renewal. I mean, huge adjustment and, humans are not good with change. We know that It is a huge adjustment. It's a huge adjustment when they come home and then we fall into that routine and that feels like normal. And now it's a huge adjustment when they leave again and again, I'm having to adjust myself to this new normal, and I think as parents, as mums. It's not that once and done. It's like that rollercoaster with its ups and downs. It's like the ocean with its waves. It doesn't just happen once and then we adapt and we adjust and we evolve. No, it happens over and over and over. So what's different for me this time? What I'm really leaning into is a way of being with my feelings, allowing my feelings, and my work as a coach has really allowed me to look at this adjustment and this roller coaster of emotions in a different way instead of finding ways to distract myself ways to push away those feelings and not acknowledge them. I'm now leaning into those emotions. I'm allowing the tears. I'm allowing myself to feel that heaviness on my heart and to really sit with the ache of space of loneliness. I mean, that's what it is. I'm feeling lonely. I feel incredibly lonely today without the hustle and the bustle and the noise, and my husband's gone back to work. Yes, I can clean the house and do the laundry, and strip the bed and keep myself busy in a physical way. But I am also acknowledging the feelings that are coming up for me and that incredible loneliness. And this time I'm choosing to speak to myself in a kind way. Rather than judging myself and saying things that I used to say, like, oh, come on, snap out of it, or, come on, you are stronger than this. Pull yourself together. Move on to the next thing. Do the next thing, be the next thing. I'm now speaking kindly to myself. I have compassion for the part of me that loves them so fiercely, so strongly, the part of me that has that connection with them, that I truly feel blessed to have and that I truly value. And so, yes, I'm allowing. The tears. I'm allowing the sadness. I'm allowing the grief. I'm really feeling into my body. I'm feeling into the heaviness I feel that in my heart space, around my heart chakra, around my upper chest, into my shoulders, that lump in my throat. I'm allowing all of those feelings. And I'm breathing into those feelings. I'm letting the tears flow. I'm breathing into every sensation that's coming up in my body. I'm grounding myself to bring me back to this present, back to this moment, and I'm asking myself, what does this moment need from me? So instead of pushing the grief away, I'm allowing it. I'm inviting it in like a dear friend who has something very special to share with me. And so I invite you now to perhaps reflect on the same questions that I'm asking myself and really thinking about where in your life are you experiencing repeated goodbyes or contemplating a goodbye? The next goodbye. And how do you usually cope with that? Like me in the past, do you numb and distract and rush past it or me today? Do you allow space for the emotion to breathe, to be present, to be here, to let me know the message that it has for me? And I also want to invite you to ask yourself, what would self-compassion look like for you in those moments? So if this resonates with, you, know, that you don't have to navigate these waves alone. The same tools that I'm applying in my life are the ones that I guide my clients through also, and they can support you as I'm using them to support myself at this time. So I invite you to perhaps journal, perhaps free write whatever is coming up for you right now. Maybe you have recently. Experienced a painful goodbye, or maybe you are about to in the near future, or maybe like me today, you are actually going through that painful feeling, the sensations of loss because one of my children went off on her big adventure again. So I would invite you to call a friend up and go and have coffee and share what you are feeling and also share this episode if there's someone you know who may benefit from feeling like they're not alone. If they're going through something similar, share this episode with them So in closing, I want to recap what the key takeaways are for me today. Grief shows up in cycles and every goodbye is another opportunity to practice love and compassion for the people we are saying goodbye to and for ourselves as well. And if you are in the middle of this, know that you are not alone. I know I'm not alone. I know there are thousands of women, thousands of mums out there who are saying goodbye. In their own ways, for their own reasons, and know that you are doing the best that you can. Every wave is a chance to grow in compassion for your children, for your partners, for your loved ones, and for yourself. If you've got something from this episode, I invite you to reach out to me. I would love to send you a personal email. I send out personal emails every Sunday, and I would love to send you a personal email. So please, reach out to me and drop me a line and let me know. If you like this episode, I would love to hear from you. Thanks for listening. Please tune in next week for another exciting episode of Pickleball and partnership. Remember, we're all learning, growing, and showing up in our own ways. And that's what matters most.
