I Lent Her My Husband: A Courageous Step Forward.

In this episode, Charlotte—The Connection Coach—reflects on the power of a summer pause. Between coaching women through transformation, preparing for a life-changing retreat, and finding joy on the pickleball court, she discovered how stepping back can actually move us forward.

Charlotte shares why intentional pauses are essential for personal growth and self-empowerment, especially for women navigating life pivots or craving more alignment in their work, relationships, and purpose. She also tells real stories from the court: lending her husband as a pickleball partner to a friend (flexibility at its finest!) and pushing her own boundaries by playing with strangers in Florida.

As the podcast evolves, get ready for fresh conversations on overcoming personal blocks, trusting yourself, and creating a life and business you love.

If you’re ready to step out of your comfort zone, embrace fun, and claim the confidence to build the life of your dreams—this episode is for you.

00:00 Introduction and Taking Pauses

01:07 Exciting Podcast Updates

01:51 The Story Behind 'I Lent Her My Husband'

03:47 Cindy's Tournament Experience

08:54 Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone in Florida

12:45 Embracing Growth and Overcoming Fear

17:55 Conclusion and Call to Action

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Music: Purple Planet Music
Thanks to Purple Planet Music for Pickleball & Partnership Intro and Outro music Purple Planet Music is a collection of music written and performed by Chris Martyn and Geoff Harvey.

Transcript

Speaker: 0:02

I know, I know. I took a pause. I decided to spend the summer playing pickleball and focusing on my coaching and preparing for this amazing retreat that I went to last week, and I only dropped one podcast episode a few weeks ago when, oh my goodness. All of our children came here for the summer with their partners and there was so much going on and Olivia went back to Scotland and Oh, yes, how painful that was as a Mum now to be back in an empty house. My husband is here and my son is here, but relatively speaking, an empty house. So yes, I took a pause and I talk about pauses a lot. Pauses are good. Pauses are times for us to reflect and integrate everything that's been happening. And figure out how we're going to move forward. And so I'm so excited to share with you that this podcast is moving forward in an incredible, new, exciting way. We are going to talk about pickleball. We will always talk about pickleball. How can I not? But I want to share. More of what is coming up for my clients in our coaching containers, what I see as being the biggest blocks for people to move forward, to step into their power, to step into their dreams. So watch out for lots more exciting content. And yes, of course there's always pickleball. So, okay, I feel like I need to explain the title of this week's podcast episode. I lent her my husband. What? Yes, I did. Okay. So where are we going with this? So I would say about six weeks ago. Neil and I realized that the tournament that we usually go into at the end of the summer for mixed couples was coming up and we hadn't signed up for it. And we happened to be out playing with a group of people that we play with on a Saturday morning and they mentioned, oh yeah, the dates are such and such. I think it was September the 13th or something. And Neil said, oh my gosh, yes, we will sign up. Looking forward to it. Hai and I will play. We always play together. He's my partner. I'm his partner in life, love and pickle ball. And, I said, oh, no, Neil, I can't make it. That's when I'm away for this retreat. Oh my goodness. And I was devastated. This is not good. Very similar. Earlier on, actually at the beginning of the summer when Neil had an injury and I played in a tournament with Al and Al stepped in. It's funny, isn't it? How the ego loves and craves that familiarity and when we shake things up a bit. The ego steps in, the mind steps in and says, whoa, hang on a second. This is not safe. This is not what we do. And in actual fact, that is exactly what we do. If we want to grow, if we want to expand and move into more of our power, more of what we are actually capable of doing. So. We happened to be playing with this other couple at the time that I realized I could not make this mixed tournament in September, and it suddenly came to me that this would be such a beautiful gift that I could give to my friend Cindy. And I know I have shouted out Cindy before. She is incredible. She's amazing. She is a phenomenal pickleball player. I love playing with her. I love playing against her. I love hanging out with her. The four of us actually went cycling a few weeks ago and we ended up paddle boarding on a community lake here in Calgary too. It's just always fun when we hang out with Cindy and Vern. So I thought. This would be an incredible gift that I could give to my friend because, Cindy doesn't like to go into tournaments, and when Vern plays in tournaments, he plays with another partner. And Cindy and he, and this is what she says, don't play that well together. So I feel like she's missing out she's missing out on an opportunity to grow and to experience what a tournament is like from a player perspective. She's volunteered. For many tournaments helped out and organized and is incredible at doing that. But I thought here is an opportunity for her to play with Neil. And Neil is the perfect partner for her because. Okay. He does have a bit more of an ego when he's on the pickleball court, but I knew he would be very compassionate with her. He would hold space for her in a very gentle way so she could show up exactly as she needed to, and I knew that she would feel anxious about this, and I knew she would worry about letting him down. And I knew also that he would be okay with having fun and not having to get a medal, but purely having fun and having that experience. And so in that moment I said, Hey, Cindy, why don't you and Neil play together? And she thought that was a great idea and loves playing with Neil. And so she said to him, shall we play together and bless him? He said, I would love to play with you, Cindy, but I always play with chai. I said, no, it's okay. I actually, I won't be around. That's when I'm away. So please, the two of you should play this would be amazing. And so they signed up and went in for the tournament and I know Cindy was. Nervous and I know that she also played incredibly well and she didn't let her nerves get the better of her. And she showed up and she had fun and oh my goodness, I am so proud of her. Now you are hearing this. I'm putting it out there, Cindy, come on the podcast. Come and share what that experience was like for you, because I know you are an inspiration to so many people who are feeling anxious about stepping outta their comfort zone. For thinking about doing something different, something that feels more aligned with who they truly are, rather than mechanically monotonously going about the same routine every day. I know Cindy, that you are an absolute inspiration to other women and men as well, but other women who perhaps think, I can't do that. That's not me. It's okay for so and so or other people. They're braver than I am. And what I am saying to you is. Everyone has felt that anxiety at some point about something, everyone has stepped up to an edge and felt like they could not move past that, and their nervous system shut down and their mind ran 10 to the dozen, telling them all the reasons why they couldn't do something. We have all been in that situation I guarantee it. There is not one person. And if there is, come forward, let's have a conversation because I would love to talk to you. Big shout out to Cindy. I'm so proud of you. You two I know had an amazing time and you won some great games you didn't come home with a medal, and that's okay I think you won so much more than a piece of metal around your neck. You, you won, putting yourself out there and believing in yourself. And I also want to share that at the same time Neil and Cindy were playing in this tournament. I was stepping outside my comfort zone as well. So I had flown to Florida for this retreat, which was amazing. Shout out to Cathy Heller. What an incredible"Infinite Yes Retreat". Yes. Saying yes to yourself. Oh my gosh. How apt? And so I had flown out and was staying in this beautiful resort, the Boca Resort, which has its own pickleball courts. And I arrived late on the Thursday night and I took my pickleball paddle and I thought, okay. I really want to play pickleball in Florida, but who do I play with? I don't know anyone here. I'd reached out to a couple of people that I know play that might be in the area. Nobody was, so I had no choice. If I wanted to play, which I really did, then I had to go and find the courts and sign up and put myself there. In open play in front of a bunch of strangers, and of course, all these things run through my mind, oh, I'm not brave enough. This is not what I do. They're going to judge me. They're going to think I'm a crap player, I'm gonna miss shots. I'm going to make a fool of myself. This is not what you do. Stay in your lane and be comfortable. And I think I've grown up having that voice in my head, stay in your lane, be comfortable. And I am in a stage of my life where I refuse to stay in my lane. I refuse to stay comfortable for too long. I am growing, growing, growing, pushing myself out there. We only have one life for goodness sake. I could have another 40 years, God willing, and I have. So much more I want to do. So I grabbed my paddle, put on my pickleball shoes, and took myself over to the resorts, pickleball courts, and this is a top class resort. People play here because they're serious. I knew this was not your regular sort of public open play, where there would be, you know, beginners, maybe people of different kinds of levels, maybe not so serious people. I knew that the members of this club were serious players and. I didn't talk myself out of it. I showed up and I put myself out there and I'm damn proud of myself. And you know what? I met some beautiful people. Of course I did because they play pickleball. I met some incredible women that I played with, so friendly, so welcoming, and I played with some really great guys who elcomed me and asked me to play again, and I played so many games that morning and I had so much fun. And isn't that what life is supposed to be about? It's about fun. It's about giving ourselves permission to have. Fun and not worrying if we mess up or we don't look perfect, or if that doubt creeps in. We are human. We all come from the same place of feeling like, will I fit in here? Is this where I belong? Can I really take this next big step? So. I wanted to share that with you. I'm pretty damn proud of myself because I knew me two, three years ago would not have done that. I knew the me. A couple of years ago would've needed someone to go with me, someone to be my partner in crime. And here I was stepping out on my own. And for those of you who do this regularly, oh my gosh, you are an inspiration. I love that. You are incredible. I take my hat off to you, but that was not something I. I think I've ever really been comfortable with stepping out and doing things on my own for fear of being judged by others, for fear of not coming up to par of failing, failing, of looking like I'm an idiot and I don't know what I'm doing, of being judged, of having people whispering behind their back and pointing the finger at me and judging me. Oh my gosh. That is a heavy burden to bear, but I had the most incredible time. It energized me more than I can tell you. It was just such a beautiful place. Shout out to the Boca Resort and to everybody that I played with there on that Friday morning, there was Neil from New York. Michael originally from Copenhagen and so many other beautiful people who. Welcomed me into their pickleball circle. And I had so much fun and then said to me, oh my gosh, when can you come back? When can you play again? And I said, oh, I'm actually busy for the next three days on a retreat. But. What a lovely feeling to be welcomed in. You just never really know where life is going to take you. When you open yourself up to expanding and receiving and putting yourself out there in a way that you normally wouldn't. The universe steps up to meet you. We often feel like we are waiting for that sign. Show me that sign and then I will act, show me that reassurance that I need to do this, or this is my path, or this is my purpose. I don't think that's what it is. I honestly believe it starts with every single one of us. It starts with me. I take the next step, I set the intention, I put myself out there, and the universe opens up so many more opportunities and possibilities for me. What an incredible feeling and yeah, am onto the next amazing and I'm not saying it's easy. I just want to reiterate that the nervous system is there to protect us, to keep us safe. I mean, think about it. Think about caveman days. When our lizard brain was developed and we woke up every morning stuck our head out of the cave and checked for danger. We didn't have the opportunity to look up at the sun and think, oh, hello Sun. Good morning. How lovely that you are shining on my face. Let me just soak in the warmth and the energy and let me just get my vitamin D for the day. No, we were checking, am I safe? Am I safe? Is there danger? Is there a lion going to eat me? Am I safe? This is what the nervous system does, and until we rewrite those neuro pathways, until we wake up and feel the sun on our face. And absorb that incredible energy and vitamin D from the sun. Until we make that choice, then we are stuck in that loop of watching out for danger, making sure that we are safe, and there are so many. Different practices that we can do every day, and it's like building a muscle where we practice slowing down taking a pause connecting to our breath connecting to our bodies and listening to the wisdom of our bodies and reassuring ourselves that it's okay. I am safe. I've got this. I'm stepping into my power and this is how I'm moving forward today. So I wanted to share with you that I gave myself permission to have fun. I gave myself permission to step out of my comfort zone and to try something that felt scary and something that felt unsafe, and I survived. And so can you. Thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate you tuning in and staying connected with me and with Pickleball and Partnership. And if something really landed for you today, if something really resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. So please check out the show notes below. Check out my email address. The link to my top 10 tips for pickleball and partnership and staying connected with your partner or drop into my Facebook group pickleball and partnership and leave a comment there. But please do reach out because that means the world to me, and I would love to hear from you. And if you have an incredible story about pickleball. Or not about pickleball and you feel like you want to reach out and come on the podcast, please do so. Step over that edge and I would love to hear from you. Until next time, Pickle-On and have fun.