Stop Dabbling: The Power of Consistent Commitment

In this milestone episode of 'Pickleball and Partnership,' Charlotte reflects on a year-long commitment to recording a podcast every week. Despite doubts, fears, and challenges, the journey reveals the power of consistent effort and how it can transform one's identity. 

The episode delves into the universal principle that true change comes from going all in on one thing and explores how this commitment has not only grown the podcast but also improved relationships, business, and self-confidence. 

Tune in to discover key takeaways on building consistency, handling criticism, and the importance of sustained action over sporadic effort.

00:00 The Promise: A Year of Commitment

01:33 Welcome to Pickleball and Partnership

02:25 Facing the Fear of Starting

06:30 The Power of Consistency

08:04 Overcoming Challenges and Doubts

10:02 The Transformation Through Commitment

13:43 The Science Behind Commitment

15:33 Choosing Your One Thing

18:39 The Magic of Consistency

21:55 Reflecting on the Journey

26:32 Key Takeaways

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Transcript

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Charlotte J 0:00

A year ago. I made a promise not to anyone else, but to myself that I was going to show up every single week and record a podcast episode. No matter what, even if nobody listened, even if I felt like I had nothing to say, even if I felt scared or tired or convinced I was doing it wrong every single week, and honestly, I didn't know if I could do it because here's the thing, I've started things before, in human design as a manifesting generator, I start many things. I have so many creative ideas, projects, businesses, creative pursuits, and I let them fade when they got hard, when nobody cared. When I got. Busy or distracted or discouraged. I was really good at starting things and I was really good at stopping without finishing. Yeah, but something in me knew that if I kept dabbling, if I kept one foot in and one foot out, you know that no man's land, that nothing was ever going to change, not my business, not my confidence, not my life. And so I made that decision a year ago, one year, 52 weeks, no excuses. Welcome to Pickleball and Partnership, where we talk about the game of pickleball and the life that teaches us who we are. So this is not episode 52. It's not even episode 51, but this is the one year mark. And today I want to share what actually happened when I stopped dabbling and I went all in. Not because my story is special, but because the principle is universal, it's common to. I would say all of us, when you commit fully to one thing, everything changes. Not just the thing itself, but you. And that's what we're going to talk about today. So before I hit record on episode one, I had sat with the idea of creating a podcast for quite some time. It actually, even going back before that. Was never on the cards. It wasn't even something I was considering doing. And then all of a sudden as the universe has this beautiful way of unfolding and showing us the breadcrumbs to follow, if we choose to move forward, right there in front of me was this opportunity. How about. Starting a podcast and I thought, Hmm, I could do that. That would be really fun. But then of course there were all these questions, well, what do I talk about? Who am I to have a podcast? What makes me qualified? There are already thousands of. Podcasts about personal growth and relationships and pickleball. Why would anyone listen to me? And the fear wasn't just about being judged, it was deeper than that. It was also this fear of commitment because I knew, I really, truly knew that if I started this, I couldn't do it halfway. I couldn't post when I felt inspired and then give up when I didn't. I couldn't skip weeks because I was busy or tired, and I didn't think the episode was good enough. If I was going to do this, I had to go all in and going all in meant that there was nowhere to hide. It meant people would see me fail, see me figure it out messy in real time. They would see the imperfect in me, the still healing, the still learning version of me, and that terrified me as a recovering perfectionist. And for those of you. Who understand that and who get that, that is terrifying. But you know what terrified me more. Staying exactly where I was so here I am age. 55, then I'm thinking I could have another God willing 40 years of my life. Do I want to keep showing up in exactly the same way? Do I want my life to continue as wonderful as it is, was that all I was going to settle for? Was I going to turn my back on my dreams? No, 40 years is a long time, and I could have 40 years more of doing the same thing, and I did not want to stay exactly where I was dabbling in a dozen different things, committing to nothing, and wondering five years from now what my life could have been if I'd just seen something through. So I sat there on the first day of the podcasting class and I thought, Hmm, what would be fun? What would be a really fun podcast to create? And of course, pickleball came to mind, and throughout the year it evolved into so much more than pickleball. But there was the time a year ago where I sat in front of the record button and froze. And again, those questions came up. Who am I to have a podcast? How am I qualified? Who will listen to me? And those fears were still there. But you know what I did? I hit record and I made myself a promise. Do it for a year no matter what. And here's what I know from pickleball. You can play casually for years. You can play once a month here and there when the weather's nice, when you feel like it, and you'll stay exactly at the same skill level. Maybe you'll have fun. Maybe you'll get some exercise, but you won't actually improve because improvement requires consistency. It requires showing up even when you don't feel like it. It requires going all in. And I've watched players transform in six months of committed practice three, four times a week. No excuses. Drilling play, drilling, play focused improvement. And I've watched other players stay stuck because they're dabbling and neither is right or wrong. It just depends what you want out of life. The difference isn't talent, it's. Commitment. And the same principle applies to everything. It applies to our relationships, our businesses, our personal growth journey, healing, our creative work. You can dabble for a decade and stay exactly where you are, or you can go all in for one year. One month, one week. How about just one day and completely transform? So let me tell you about week eight of the podcast. I just posted an episode I was really proud of. It felt vulnerable, and it was heartfelt, and it got barely nothing. No comments. A few downloads, radio silence, and I sat there thinking, oh my gosh, what's the point? I'm pouring my heart out into the void. Nobody cares. And I almost didn't record week nine. And then there was week 23. I was exhausted. I was completely depleted. I had nothing left to give, but it was Sunday night and I'd made a promise. So I sat down and I recorded anyway. And you know what? That episode, the one that I almost skipped. The one I thought was mediocre at best, that's the one that got the most messages, people telling me, oh my gosh. It landed exactly where they needed it to, Or what about week 15 when someone left a comment that basically said everything that I was talking about was so obvious and unhelpful? Ooh, ouch. That one hurt because part of me believed them. Part of me thought. Maybe I don't have anything valuable to say. Maybe I'm not qualified for this, and I had to make a choice, believe the critic, or trust the process, and I chose trust and I kept showing up. Because here's what I learned, consistency isn't about feeling motivated all the time. It's about making a promise to yourself and keeping it even when everything inside of you wants to quit. That's the practice, the repetition, so what happened over this year? Yes, the podcast grew. Yes, I built a community. Yes, opportunities opened up, but that's not even the real story. The real story is who I became. I became someone who finishes things. I became someone who Sees things through, I became someone who doesn't feel like they have enough courage or confidence and does that thing anyway. I committed to something and I did it. And that changes your identity because now when I set a goal, part of me actually believes and knows that I'll follow through. I'm not just someone who wants to or tries to. I'm actually someone who does. I became the person who values consistency over perfection. There are episodes I am so proud of and there are episodes that were, yeah, they're okay, they're fine, but they all exist because I showed up and I learned that done is better than perfect. And my amazing mentor, Cathy Heller always says, done messy is better than not done at all. That showing up imperfectly is more powerful than waiting until you have it all figured out because quite honestly, do we ever really have it all figured out? I became someone who trusts my own voice. At the beginning a nd even now to an extent, I was worried about saying the right thing. I was worried about sounding professional. I was worried about my accent and the way I sounded to people. I was worried about being credible because remember, if you've heard. Any of my earlier episodes, I was bullied in school growing up for the way that I spoke, but now I just tell the truth. I share what I'm learning, I share what I'm struggling with, what's working, what isn't, and the people that, that resonates with. They stay, and the people that. It doesn't land for them. They leave and that's okay. Both are okay. I became the person who can hold the discomfort, the criticism, the weeks that nobody listens. The vulnerability of putting myself out there, it doesn't destroy me. I can sit with it, I can, I can feel it. I can lean into it and I can not make it mean anything about me. And I can keep going. And here's the beautiful part. These shifts didn't just affect my podcast. They affected everything, every area of my life. My relationships got deeper because I learned to show up consistently. Even when it was hard, my business grew because I stopped dabbling. I stopped that one foot in one foot out, and I jumped in with both feet. My confidence increased because I proved to myself that I could keep a promise going all in on one thing, changed everything. So here's the science behind why this matters. Your brain learns through repetition and pattern recognition. So when you dabble, when you start and stop, commit and quit, your brain learns, Hey, we don't finish things. Commitment isn't safe. But when you show up consistently, even when it's hard, your brain starts to rewire. It learns. Oh, we keep promises. We see things through. We can be trusted. And that's not just about the podcast or pickleball or whatever it is you're committing to. That becomes your identity. You literally become someone different. Someone who your nervous system trusts to follow through. And when your nervous system trusts you well, then everything becomes possible. Everything becomes possible. You can set those bigger goals because you believe you'll actually do them. You can take bigger risks because you know you're going to show up no matter what happens around you. You can dream bigger because you are not operating from this history, this pattern of quitting anymore. So going all in on one thing, even for one day, one week, one month, one year, rewires your relationship with yourself, the most important relationship that there is, and that's worth, oh my gosh, more than any external achievement. So maybe you are thinking, okay, I want to do this, but how do I choose? And here's what I've learned through this process. Your one thing should be 1. something that you can control. So don't pick become successful or find the perfect relationship. That's too vague. Let's get specific. Pick something you can commit to regardless of the outcome. So it could be record a podcast every week. Maybe it's play pickleball three times a week. Maybe it's play pickleball once a week. Maybe it's journal every morning. You need to be able to say, I did it. Or I didn't, right? It needs to be something tangible, measurable. Secondly, it needs to be something that scares you just a little bit. If it's too easy, it's not going to create that identity shift. So you need something that requires you to grow, to show up in a different way, to push past your comfort zone, step out of your comfort zone. Thirdly, it needs to be something with a ripple effect. So the best one thing naturally improves all the other areas of your life too. So for me, the podcast encouraged me to organize my thoughts, which in turn improved the way I showed up for my clients and improved my coaching. It challenged me to show up vulnerably, and so now I could show up vulnerably in my relationship. I could stand in front of my husband, in front of Neil and say, okay, this is me at my most vulnerable, but here I am showing up vulnerably and sharing this with you. The podcast also challenged me to keep commitments, which in turn improve my self trust, which had a knock on effect in every area of my life. And also, the podcast encouraged me to manage my time, and so that also helped me improve in my business, and my home life too, and in Pickleball also. Okay, so let me ask you this question. What's one thing that if you committed fully, would create positive ripples everywhere else in your life? And fourthly, something that you can sustain for a year, let's commit to that year. This isn't about intensity, it's about consistency. Don't pick something like, okay, I'm going to work out two hours every day. If that doesn't feel sustainable for you, pick something that you can realistically do every single week for 52 weeks. And here's a secret that I'm going to let you in on because this is not episode 52 there were weeks where I did not record a podcast episode. There were weeks last summer where I took a break where I did rest before I got burnout. Hint, hint. Listen to last week's episode, but I did show up consistently. I didn't show up every week, but when I didn't show up, I also didn't beat myself up about it. I said, that's okay. Rest this week. There's always next week. And Instead of recording the podcast episode, I perhaps researched for the next episode, or I had a conversation with somebody, or I sent out invitations to get potential guests to come on my podcast. The magic is in the consistency, not the intensity, and the magic is in not being hard on yourself. When you don't show up every week. So let's take a moment right now to identify your one year experiment. Let's have some fun with this. If you are able to find a comfortable position, close your eyes, if it's safe to do so, or soften your gaze and take a deep breath in all the way into the bottom of your belly. Hold it, and then exhale fully. Now I want you to ask yourself. What's calling me? Not what you think you should do, not what would impress people, what actually wants to be born through you this year? Maybe it's creative. Maybe it's something physical. Maybe it's something relational in your life. Maybe it's spiritual. Just notice what arises without judgment. Just notice what bubbles up. Now imagine yourself one year from today. You've shown up consistently, you've kept your promise. How do you feel? Who have you become? Really take a moment to notice yourself. Notice what's different. Notice what's possible now that wasn't before. Now come back to today. Come back to now. What's the commitment? What is your one thing? And here's the important part. Say it out loud. Go on right now. If you're alone or if there are people around you, maybe you're sat in a coffee shop listening on your earbuds, that's okay. Say it out loud. Make the commitment audible, and really feel that in your body. This is your promise to yourself, for yourself, okay? And once you've said it out loud, when you're ready, take one more deep breath. And open your eyes and now write down your commitment. Make it even more real. So if you actually do this, if you go all in for one year, here's what you need to know. There are going to be weeks. You don't want to show up, show up anyway. In some way, there will be people who don't understand why you are wasting time on this. Keep going anyway. There will be moments you want to quit. Those are the moments that matter the most. Those are where the transformation happens. You also will not see progress for some time. That's okay. Trust the process. There will be times where you feel like you're doing it wrong, you're not. You're just learning. You will have weeks that feel like failures. They're not failures. That's information. And here's what else will happen. You will become someone you didn't know you could be someone who keeps promises, someone who sees things through someone who trusts themselves, and that version of you, that's the person that will create a life that you can't even imagine right now because the life you want. Isn't on the other side of trying harder, it's on the other side of committing fully. A year ago I was scared. I was, I was scared to commit. I was scared to be seen. I was scared of failing publicly, but I was more scared of staying the same for potentially the next 40 years of my life. And so I made a promise in that moment, and I've kept it. And so now I'm here. Not because I'm special, not because I had it all figured out, but because I stopped dabbling and I went all in. And if I can do it and there's nothing special about me, you absolutely can do it too. So here's my question for you. What would your life look like one year from now if you stopped dabbling and you went all in on one thing, not 10 things, just one thing, what would change? Who would you become? You don't need more time. You don't need more resources. You don't need to be more ready because this is the truth. I know we will never feel completely fully ready. You don't need to be more ready. You just need to choose, and then you just need to show up week after week after week. And even when it's hard actually, especially when it's hard because that's where transformation lives in the commitment. Thank you for being here from episode one or from episode 20, or if this is your first time listening, thank you for being here. Thank you for showing up, for doing your work, for being willing to lean into the hard stuff. This year has changed my life and I hope in some small way it's. Impacted yours too. And so as we step into our second year of pickleball and partnership, I want you to know I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for the messy, the honest, the vulnerable conversations that actually create change. And I am so grateful that you are here with me. If you are ready to go all in on something. Anything this year. If you are ready to stop dabbling and you're ready to commit fully, I would love to support you. You can find me by email, Facebook, Instagram at Connection Coaching, and if this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Maybe there's someone you know, a friend, a partner. A child, someone who's been dabbling, someone who's scared to commit, someone who needs permission to go all in. Until next time, keep showing up, keep choosing you, and keep committing because honestly, one year from now, you'll be so glad you did. Let's go. Here are the key takeaways from this week's episode number one. Dabbling keeps you stuck. Commitment creates transformation. You can dabble for a decade and stay exactly where you are or go all in for one year and completely transform. The difference isn't talent, it's commitment. Number two, consistency rewires your identity. When you show up every single week, even when it's hard, your brain learns. We keep promises, we finish things. This identity shift affects every area of your life, not just your one thing. Number three. Your one thing should scare you a little. Choose something that requires growth that you can control, and that creates ripple effects. It should be sustainable for a year, but it should be challenging enough to transform you. Number four. The magic is in the consistency, not the intensity. You don't need to do something for two hours a day. You need to do something consistently every week small sustained action beats big, sporadic effort every time. Number five, the weeks you want to quit are where transformation happens. The hard weeks aren't failures. They're the exact moments where you are rewiring your nervous system to trust yourself. Show up anyway. And number six, going all in on one thing changes everything. When you commit fully to one thing, it doesn't just improve that area. It creates identity shifts that ripple into your relationships, your business, confidence, and every other part of your life. One thing, one year, everything changes.