Being Me Is Enough: The Path to Feeling Worthy

In this episode, Charlotte demonstrates a powerful coaching exercise she uses for herself and her clients. 

She explains that even with great strategy and consistent effort, people can hit an “invisible wall” that is usually driven by unconscious beliefs about worthiness, such as feeling success isn’t safe or believing they don’t deserve it. 

Charlotte emphasises embodiment — accessing worth through the body and nervous system rather than just mindset shifts — drawing on 37 years in healthcare and her belief that the body holds wisdom the mind can’t process. 

She models a vulnerable self-coaching exercise: voicing self-doubt, locating it in her body, linking it to childhood pressure, offering compassion to her “little one,” and then inquiring into the belief “being me is not enough.” 

Charlotte lists grounded examples from her work, coaching, marriage, parenting, and pickleball to support “being me is enough,” practices self-forgiveness, chooses an affirmation, and commits to sharing this raw recording as a podcast episode.

00:00 Welcome and Setup

00:39 The Invisible Wall

02:41 Embodiment Over Mindset

05:16 Guided Exercise Begins

06:07 Giving the Inner Critic Voice

06:47 Body Sensations and Origins

08:12 Breathing and Self Compassion

12:33 Challenging the Core Belief

13:21 Proof Being Me Is Enough

18:43 Self Forgiveness Practice

24:06 Embodied Worth and Affirmations

25:17 Integration and Closing Reflection

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Music: Purple Planet Music
Thanks to Purple Planet Music for Pickleball & Partnership Intro and Outro music Purple Planet Music is a collection of music written and performed by Chris Martyn and Geoff Harvey. 

Transcript

Charlotte J 0:00

Hey, friends. I thought I would do something a little bit different, and actually, even as I say that, I'm thinking, "This is very different." So bear with me, humor me, come along for the ride. Come along on a journey with me, welcome back to the Pickleball and Partnership Podcast. I want to talk about something today that I think about a lot. I think about it on the pickleball court, and I think about it in every coaching session that I sit in, whether I'm the coach or whether I'm being coached. And it's this idea that you can have the best strategy in the world, you can have the most amazing list of tasks to accomplish, and you can put in all the effort. You can show up every single day, do all the right things, and still find yourself hitting against some invisible wall, some invisible limit. That's me. Absolutely. Definitely. And here's what I've noticed in myself and in the people that I work with, is that wall is rarely it's about strategy. Rarely is it about not working hard enough. I mean, this was a belief that I really took on, was that I had to work harder and harder all the time. And really, that's not what it's about. And in my case, it was this quiet, unconscious belief underneath it all I don't actually deserve this, this much success isn't safe for me. And that kind of belief will always sabotage you every time. Not in your face loudly, here it is, here I am, this is what's happening. Not as dramatically as that. It quietly decides how far you allow yourself to go, how hard the whole thing has to feel before you're allowed to have it. So today I want to do something really exciting. It feels vulnerable. I'd really like to lead you on a journey because I want to talk about shifting that belief and shifting it from inside of myself. Because I don't think this is about trying harder or gripping the paddle in pickleball tighter, so to speak. I think it's really two things. First of all, it's uncovering what has been in the way, and then strengthening that part of- You, that knowing, that deep down knowing that knows the truth, that you are whole, I am whole, that my worth was never something that I had to go out and earn. What I keep returning to is embodiment not a mindset shift, not a mantra, embodiment. Actually feeling it. Feeling it in your body, in your posture, in your breath, your whole nervous system before a single word is spoken. Because that part of you that's whole, that's worthy, it doesn't live in your thoughts. It lives deep within your body. And when you can access it there, something settles that thinking alone never fully reaches. I mean actually feeling it in your body, practicing what's already true underneath the noise.

Speaker 6 4:01

Because what I know to be true from nearly four decades of working in the healthcare system, being with all different kinds of people, what I know to be true is that there is such great wisdom in the body. The body holds the key. The body holds the wisdom for everything that the mind is unable to process

Charlotte J 4:30

So I would really like to invite you on a journey, a vulnerable journey, where I let you into my world where I guide myself through an exercise, where I really connect with what's going on underneath, and connect to my wholeness, my sense of worth, and forgive myself with compassion for any of the judgments and misunderstandings that I've had about that. And then move forward from a more empowered place. So let's get into this. I'm excited. If you're with me, come along for the ride. Here we go. Here's the first part of this exercise, and I'm going to model this for you on myself right now so that you can hear what this actually sounds like. I'm going to slow down. I'm going to breathe. I'm going to connect to my wholeness, to my essence. As I do this, I become aware of the part of me that doesn't think it deserves what it wants, the part of me that questions my worth, and I'm not going to clean it up or make it sound, gift-wrapped with a bow on top. I'm going to speak from this part. I'm To give this part a voice and let it say exactly what it wants to say I'm not smart enough. I'm not eloquent enough. I don't sound smart. I don't have the right answers. My message doesn't land for people. People misinterpret what I'm saying. I'm not funny enough. I'm not dynamic enough. People are confused by what I say and it doesn't land for them, and they don't feel connected to me I don't feel as though there's any validity in what I say. My message is not impactful for others. Great. And where do you feel this energy in your body? Is this new or familiar? And notice, are there any images that go with this? I feel this energy in my chest.. It is familiar. It's like a whirling, nauseating spiral of heaviness that consumes It moves up into my throat and stops me from speaking I guess what comes up for me is playing the trombone Having to struggle, feeling that push from Dad, of being pushed, of being better, of moving forward, of making myself seen and heard and not feeling good enough, feeling like I was always in competition with the person next to me it was never enough to just be who I was. I couldn't just show up in the only way that I knew how. It was always coming from this place of lack, this gap between where I am, who I am, and who I should be So I've made that mean I'm never enough. I always have to work harder, be better, sound more clever And that was never enough either.

Speaker 9 8:13

Okay, so now I'm going to breathe into the energy in the body. I'm going to breathe into the place where the contraction is. It's purely energy. It's not who I am, so I'm really going to allow it to be met, to be seen inside of myself

Charlotte J 8:38

Noticing the swirling, noticing the edges of it, noticing how it now dissipates outwardly. The edges merge into the room around me rather than being solid and contained Just breathing a bit more space into it And from my essence, from my wholeness, feeling into that place of loving acceptance, connecting with that image of where and in what situation I feel most loved, I feel held, brings up actually tears, brings up emotion as it shifts through my body. I feel as though it's coming up from my lungs almost, up into my throat, and it's ready to move outward, And so from this loving part I say, "Oh, honey, I see you. I see how confused and bewildered you are, how you are trying so hard and it doesn't make sense to you. I get that You just want to be you. It makes so much sense to just be and have fun and play and get curious and connect with people. But I see this heaviness that's hanging over you of feeling like you're not enough and you should be doing more, and oh my gosh, that feels so heavy for you and confusing. I get that, and I'm here for you. I see you. I see how hard you're working. I see how exhausted you are And I want you to know I'm here. I want to scoop you up and hug you and hold you tight, and I'm telling you how proud of you I am, i'm here to hold you and guide you and support you. And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you then, but I am here for you now From my little one, from this energy in my chest, this swirling, nauseating energy that is dissipating, that is diluting, that is moving I feel so confused and I feel some hope that you are here because all this time I felt like I was alone and I had to do it all, and there was no one here for me. There was no one to answer my questions or make sense of this for me, and I've struggled by myself and it has felt hard and heavy and not fun at all And I don't want this. I want to be free and play and feel light and run and laugh I want to stare at the sky. I want to stare at the clouds and the rainbows and the butterflies and not worry about what I should be doing or how I can work harder at something. I just want to be I want all of that for you. And I also want to let you know that is yours to have and to embody. And I see myself now reaching out my hand and taking the hand of my little one and drawing her closer And protecting her and hugging her close enfolding her into my embrace.

12:32

Beautiful. And now we take the most charged worth belief into inquiry. So the most charged belief is

Charlotte J 12:45

I should always be doing more. I need to work harder Being myself is not enough Being me is not enough

Speaker 12:56

No, I cannot know without a shadow of doubt that that statement is accurate So being me is not enough. The opposite of that statement is being me is enough. And what are five grounded, practical ways that this new statement is true? Being me is enough Okay. Well When I went to see the client with mental health issues who became unbalanced and threatened me I handled that situation really well. I was able to diffuse the situation. I remained calm. I really connected to my inner knowing, my inner wisdom, and I modeled a behavior that diffused the situation, I remained calm and grounded, and I was able to bring myself, and my client, and my colleague back to safety. So I was enough. Being me was exactly enough in that situation And then last year at a retreat where I was one of the coaches, I trusted my intuition and came up with exercises in the moment that were applicable, appropriate, for the participants of that retreat I led the exercises from my heart, from my knowing, being authentically me, being authentically in that mument, and that was enough. In my marriage, in my partnership with my soulmate Being me is exactly enough for me to heal and for him to heal. I am enough in our relationship for him to uncover his childhood wounds. Oh my gosh, that's huge. I've never thought of it that way. That's absolutely huge that I am so enough in my relationship. I'm exactly what he needs in our relationship for him to heal. I can't even tell you how impactful that is. Let me. Let that one land because that feels huge. I've never even thought of that before being me is enough. And in the same way as a mum to my children, I think I've always been quick to judge myself, and it's the pattern, right? I could have been more, I should have been more, I shouldn't have acted in this way, I shouldn't have responded in this way. Each time I was being me, I was being authentic. I was responding in the only way that I knew how based on my role models, my mum, my dad, really leaning into connecting with me and that part of me that knew I didn't want to embody some of their ideas about parenting and modeling a different behavior for my children. So in those situations, me as a mum being me is enough. Being me now as the parent and role model that I have evolved into is enough Okay, I have to take this back to the pickleball court. Being me, showing up, learning pickleball, discovering so much about myself, feeling triggered, working with those triggers, welcoming those triggers, learning everything that I've learnt and uncovered from Playing pickleball, from being on the court with Neil, what I was making that mean about me, what I was making it mean about our relationship, how we work together on the court, how I then transpose that over into home life, our relationship off the court, uncovered, amazing lessons, which was exactly how it needed to unfold. So if I wasn't me in that situation, it wouldn't have worked out the way it did., If I hadn't resisted playing pickleball, I wouldn't have learnt the lessons and then I wouldn't have created the podcast and had the impact I have speaking about my transformation and what I've learnt. Although I don't have to understand or know or fully realize the impact like the butterfly effect, I don't need to know that. My mind, my ego may feed into the, "Okay, but what's the impact? Who listened? How many listeners? How are they responding? Who's signing up for, coaching and your immersions and your retreats and your mastermind?" My mind, my ego feels this attachment to that, but me, my authentic self, is not attached to any of that. So being me is so enough. Wow

Charlotte J 18:43

Okay, and now I get to practice self-forgiveness so that I can let go of any judgments, of any misunderstandings that I've had around my worth. And this means that I can truly free myself and experience my inherent worth and value. So it sounds like this

Speaker 19:10

I forgive myself for judging myself as not enough. The truth is, how could I be anything other than enough? I have been created in wholeness. I have been created in this imperfectly perfect body and soul The truth is I am more than I am a living, walking, talking example of enough Everything I give, everything I share, everything I receive is enough. It can't be anything other than enough in each and every moment. I forgive myself for buying into the misunderstanding that I had to work harder to be something more than I am. The truth is when I work hard and struggle and force and push and attach myself to anything I just get exhausted. I get burnt out. I'm not in flow The truth is I feel whole and at peace and calm when I am not attached, when I can flow with the river, when I don't fight the current I'm at peace to create and have fun and laugh and giggle and have immense curiosity for everything around me. When I can really immerse myself in the trust of being connected to something so much bigger than myself, that gives me the space to simply be and create something so incredible beyond what my mind can comprehend I forgive myself for judging myself as not being clever enough, for not having the right words, for not feeling as though I was making sense. The truth is I have no idea how my words land. I have no idea how another person is receiving what I am sharing, what I am expressing. I have no idea of any kind of impact I may or may not be making. The truth is that's not mine to hold onto. That's not mine to assess and evaluate and worry about. The truth is my purpose is to speak my truth. My purpose is to speak from my heart. My purpose is to simply be me and to trust I forgive myself for buying into the misunderstanding that when I look at people's reactions, my interpretation is that they don't get me. The truth is I don't know what they're thinking. I don't know how it's landing for them. I don't know when I speak on my podcast or in a coaching session how that is fully being received I forgive myself for judging myself as not knowing enough, not being clever enough, not remembering scientific information. The truth is When I try, when I force, when I struggle, when I work hard, I block the channels that flow through me, the energy that flows through me, the access that I have to all information, because it's all there. It's all in universal consciousness, and when I resist and force and struggle, I block those channels. The truth is, when I allow myself to be open and calm and in trust, I open up access to all knowledge, to all information. I'm just really allowing that one to land in my body. I can feel that expand across my chest, up into my throat, up into my brain, across into my shoulders, down my arms to my fingertips, I am a vessel. I am a conduit Amazing so from this place of owning my worth, how do I now embody myself? How do I physically show up? My head is held high, my chin is up, my shoulders are back, my chest is open, I am receiving. I am in flow. I can feel the blood circulating through my body. I stand tall. I can hear with a higher sense of acuity All of my senses are open to everything that is here I'm able to breathe deeper. I can expand my chest more fully and take a deeper breath, Let's come up with an affirmation that can help me come back to remembering this any time I need to. So something short. Being me is enough. Being me is more than enough It is safe to be me. It is powerful to be me. Being me is powerful and abundant to integrate this, to ground this new way of being into my life, what's one new action that I can take in the next 24 hours? Something that I can do n- now from this wholeness, this essence of me that knows my inherent worth and value. Well, you know what I could do is put this vulnerable, raw exercise recording out into a podcast episode Share it with people. That's what I could do, share this with people around me To show my courage, my vulnerability, my connection to my true self, and to share the work that I'm doing on myself, the work that I'm doing within myself to share that with people. That's what I feel called to do.

Charlotte J 26:20

Not everything I practice on myself I share with clients, but everything that I share, I have practiced on myself before. You can have the best strategy in the world, you can have the best key points, tasks to do, numbered lists, Post-It notes, you can have all of that in place, but if you have an unconscious belief or even a conscious belief that you don't deserve any of it, that you don't deserve your goal or your dream or any of the success that you aspire to then you will simply sabotage yourself. You will be in flow to a certain extent until you come up against that level, that barrier, that limit where you can no longer create or feel into the ease and flow. We can only go as far as that story allows us to. So this tool has helped me shift my belief, my perspective from the inside out. So it's about uncovering the blocks that have held me back. It's about strengthening that part of me that knows what's true. Thank you for being here with me today. This was a different kind of episode, a deeper one, a more personal one. And if it resonated, I would truly, truly love to hear from you. Please, send me a message, send me an email, DM me on Facebook or Instagram. Send me a text message. I would love to have a conversation with you if any of this resonated. So until next time, keep showing up, keep listening, and keep trusting that quiet voice within you. You are doing beautifully.